Cyberbullying: A Modern-Day Threat

With all the talk about bans and restrictions coming in, I’ve seen some people cheering and others completely against it. But here’s where I stand as a mum, at the end of the day, it comes down to us parents. If we don’t buy our kids a phone, we don’t have to worry about them on social media. Simple as that, right?

It’s Not That Simple

But I’ll be honest, it’s not that simple when you’re in the thick of it. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve given in to pressure. I’ve learned the hard way.

The First Phone Lesson

I gave my eldest daughter her first phone in Year 7. She misused it, so I took it ​away and didn’t return it until the end of Year 8. Thankfully, by then she’d ​        matured, and the phone didn’t cause too many problems.

The Second Phone Mistake

But with my second daughter, I caved earlier. All her friends had phones, and I told myself, “Well, it’s just what kids do now.” I like to call it the generational curse. So, she got one at the end of Year 6. And honestly, it was devastating. She was targeted, not just at school but all night long. The bullying didn’t stop when she walked through the front door, it followed her home, onto her pillow, and into her sleep. I felt like I’d lost control of her and the device. The truth? The one thing I could have controlled was simply not buying it in the first place.

A Painful Lesson Learned

That whole experience taught me a painful lesson, access to technology without maturity, boundaries, and monitoring is dangerous. And bullying online is very, very real.

The Scariest Part

The scariest part about cyberbullying is how constant it is. It’s not just classmates, it’s kids from other schools, strangers, or “friends of friends.” It’s invisible, it’s cruel, and it doesn’t switch off.

The Big Question

So here’s the big question: when is the right age for a phone?

My View on Age

Honestly, it depends. Not just on age but on maturity, communication, and how involved we’re willing to be. Personally, I think around 15–16 is safest for smartphones like iPhones. If it’s something simpler, like a basic Nokia or even a smartwatch just for calls and texts, Year 4 and up can make sense, however for kids catching buses or spending weekends at their other parent’s home you could give them a smartwatch much earlier. That’s why I got one for my daughter when she was in Year 4. But even then, it was just calls, texts, and location tracking.

Why I Disagree with Studies

Some studies say 12–14 is “acceptable,” but I disagree. At 12, kids are still too vulnerable to peer pressure, too immature to manage screen time, and not ready for the safety risks that come with being online.

My Family’s Reality

I’ve got four kids. Only my 17-year-old has a phone. My 13-year-old used to, but not anymore. My 12- and 9-year-old don’t have devices at all. And yes, it’s tough. They feel different. They feel left out sometimes. But one of the biggest lessons I want them to learn is that different is okay. You don’t need a phone to fit in. 

The Bottom Line

Bottom line, giving your child a phone isn’t just giving them a gadget. You’re giving them access to the whole world. And before you do, make sure they’re ready, and that you’re ready to walk every step of that road with them.